


soap opera shenanigans

by twistedsky



Series: project queer [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Soap Opera Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-02 15:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedsky/pseuds/twistedsky
Summary: Set around season three-ish, this is a story of soap opera-esque shenanigans. Some die, and some fall in love.





	soap opera shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the fourth written for Project Queer--a fic project where everyone is gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, ace, etc etc. Explicit or not.
> 
> Prompt: Glee+five soap opera tropes
> 
> My chosen tropes are: recast, mass murder spree, evil twin, romantic musical chairs, and unlikely return from the dead. I legitimately love soap operas, and I know it feels a little silly here. But that's what makes soap operas great! They're this incredible longform television that involves the most overdramatic moments possible AND the most mundane day-to-day minutia. 
> 
> This is one of the more ridiculous things I've ever written, but I kind of love it anyway. There some discussion of grief, and some unhealthy coping mechanisms that include underage drinking. I don't delve into it too deeply, but it's always hard to lose someone you love.

Brittany S. Pierce dies on a Thursday afternoon.

She is not the last to die, but she is the first.

Kurt mourns her. Their brief romance may have been more fake than real, but they were friends for a long time, even if they didn't always get along perfectly. Glee Club invites drama, and it always has, but despite everything, they've always managed to pull together.

Brittany is strangled in the girl's bathroom.

Two weeks later, a boy is hung at Dalton Academy.

A week after that, Kurt is hiding in the auditorium after the lights go off after a friendly performance against Dalton and some all girls school a few towns over.

Halfway through, the lights turn out. At first it just seems like a minor power outage, but then the stage lights turn on, and a girl is bleeding mid-stage. She's already dead.

He's not sure who else is still there, but he thinks if he can just get to the small closet off to the right side of the room, maybe he can block the door and stay safe.

He inches over, his pulse beating a mile a minute.

He's never felt this scared before.

He reaches the door, and realizes the flaw in his plan. He'll have to stand, putting himself in sight of anyone remaining in the auditorium. He curses himself for not realizing what was happening at first. He hopes his friends are safe. He hopes Blaine is safe too.

He peaks out from a row of seats and looks from side to side.

He's not sure it's worth it to try to make a run for it, but he knows that he could be next. He doesn't know who this serial killer thinks they are, but he has no intention of becoming their next victim.

This decides things for him, and he forces himself forward, opening the door and sliding inside.

He almost screams when he realizes that someone is already hiding there, but they put a hand over Kurt's mouth, and shut the door.

If he's about to die, then he won't go down without a fight, he promises himself.

"You're okay," he hears, and he knows that voice.

"Sebastian?" Kurt says, not even trying to mask his distaste.

"Shh," Sebastian whispers. "I'm kind of trying to stay hidden from a murderer right now."

"Maybe you should have locked the door then," Kurt snipes. he knows it's not the time, but he can't seem to help himself.

"The door doesn't lock," Sebastian says. "So please," Sebastian sighs. "Be quiet."

Kurt opens his mouth to retort, but then he hears a scream.

"I--" Kurt says softly. He doesn't know if they should stay hidden, or try to help the person.

He can barely see Sebastian in the darkness, but they seem to decide at the same time. Kurt grabs a mop, and Sebastian grabs a wooden knife prop from the spring musical.

"On three--" Sebastian says, and Kurt nods as he counts, and then opens the door.

He's never felt more foolish, but someone is killing people, including his friends, and he can't sit idly by while another person dies.

If he can help, then he will.

They open the door and look around. They don't see anyone except that poor girl on the middle of the stage. Sebastian nods his head toward the front of the auditorium, where it sounded like the scream came from, and Kurt nods his agreement, and they creep forward.

This is one of the scariest moments of Kurt's life.

They hear another scream, and this time Kurt recognizes it.

He rushes forward, closing the gap between himself and the stage, and then runs to the side.

It's too late.

Kurt is sobbing into his phone, holding Blaine close to his body, but it's already too late.

Sebastian comes up beside him and places a hand on his shoulder, as if he's trying to offer some sort of comfort. In different circumstances, Kurt would brush him off, but his heart is breaking.

"I don't see anyone," Sebastian says, but he holds his sword out, as if he's guarding them, and Kurt just lets him do it,  hugging Blaine's body to his own.

The operator tells him that help will get there soon, but it doesn't matter.

Blaine is dead.

~~

"Are you--are you okay?" Finn asks, and it takes all that Kurt has not to snap at him. He's trying to be supportive, he's trying to help. He's not trying to ask an inane question with an obvious answer.

Kurt just nods, and Finn sighs.

"If you need me, I'm here," Finn says, and Kurt nods again. "Thank you," he forces himself to say.

It goes on and on like that with most of his friends.

Some are easier than others to deal with. Santana lost Brittany, whether they were together or not, so it's easier to be around her, because she's not trying to force anything.

She gets drunk and cries a lot, and yells at people in Spanish.

Kurt doesn't blame her.

He gets drunk at 'the celebration of their friends' lives' and then immediately regrets it. Alcohol is not the best coping mechanism. The Warblers come to give their support, and Kurt manages to get through two and a half Blaine stories before he excuses himself and runs off to hide in the bathroom.

Someone knocks at the door, which means they either following him, or they have to use the bathroom. Both options suck.

The door creaks open, and Kurt doesn't move from his little spot on the floor up against the sink cabinet.

It's Sebastian, which is more annoying than Kurt can possibly express. The venom in his mouth seems to bleed away when Kurt digs deep for something mean enough to say to get him to go away.

Instead, Kurt stays silent, and Sebastian closes the door behind himself and sits down in front of Kurt.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian says softly, and Kurt just shakes his head.

"Please, shut up or go away," Kurt pleads.

"Okay," Sebastian nods, and Kurt expects him to move, but he doesn't.

Kurt is tempted to yell at him now, for pretty much anything. He doesn't like Sebastian. He doesn't like the way he flirted with Blaine, doesn't like the way that hurt him. He doesn't care that he apologized, or that he showed a modicum of growth after the Karofsky incident.

Instead of saying any of that, he stays quiet.

Eventually--"You can blame me, if it makes you feel better," Sebastian offers. "I don't mind."

Kurt lets out an irritated sigh. "It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should have been there for him."

"It's not your fault," Sebastian says firmly. "You didn't know where he was. You didn't know--" Sebastian sighs. "It's not your fault," he says again.

"Why are you even here?" Kurt asks.

"The Warblers wanted to support you," Sebastian says evasively. He knows that that isn't what Kurt is asking.

"No, why are you here?" Kurt asks.

"I lost someone once. It wasn't the same, but--" Sebastian hangs his head. "You might not want to be around people, but it hurts to be alone."

Kurt feels shaky, so he tries to steady his voice. "Thank you. You can be snarky again, if you want. This--" he motions at Sebastian. "Is starting to weird me out."

Sebastian laughs. "I'm beginning to think you were enjoying our sparring."

"You would think that," Kurt says, and takes a deep breath. "Deranged as you are," he says, but it's without malice or heat, and from Sebastian's slight smile, it seems that he gets that.

They carry on that way for the next two hours--moments of silence, moments of snark, and moments of tiptoeing around each other with kindness.

It's strange, but comforting.

Before he leaves, Sebastian grabs Kurt's phone, and adds his number. "If you need someone to talk to--" he trails off.

Kurt wants to say that he doubts that he'll want to talk to Sebastian, but he's feeling unpredictable. He's all over the place emotionally, and he's not sure what he wants or needs at all.

"Thank you," he says instead.

~~

He plays video games with Sam and Finn, and gets annoyingly competitive. He shuts his brain off for a few hours, and that helps. He's surprised by how much of grief seems to be about trying not to feel the enormity of it in any way that you can.

He goes through the motions at school, with Glee Club, and everything else. He delivers an heart-wrenching solo or two, and pours himself into the things he loves.

Music, dance, fashion, and his friends.

None of it seems to help _enough._

And so, he finds himself staring at Sebastian's contact information in his phone.

He calls him, just because he wants to hear another person's voice.

It's weird, because they're not even friends, but it's easier to talk to him than anyone else. Santana doesn't like to talk about it. She likes to talk about literally everything else. And, well, it's not so bad.

But sometimes, you need to talk about it.

"Hello?" Sebastian answers.

"Hi," Kurt says, and then clears his throat. This was clearly a huge mistake.

"Kurt?" Sebastian says. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"Maybe you should take it easy with the drinking then, you seem to be killing a lot of brain cells. Not that you can spare them."

There's a moment of silence, and Kurt worries that he's insulted him a bit much for this level of communication, but then Sebastian laughs.

"I can certainly spare more than you," he eventually retorts, and Kurt smiles, slightly, before realizing what he's doing.

Kurt doesn't even know if he can smile anymore, if that's even okay.

"Kurt?" Sebastian asks. He sounds uncertain, which just throws Kurt off more.

Kurt intends to lie, to tell him that he just got lost in his thoughts(sort of true), or just mumble something meaningless.

"I'm not sure if I'm still allowed to smile, or laugh," he admits, surprising himself with the truth.

"I know," Sebastian says softly. "But it's okay. The human mind is infinitely complex, and we compartmentalize. We can't be sad all the time. That's part of the process."

"When my mom died," Kurt clears his throat awkwardly. "I was just a kid, it--it isn't the same."

"It's always hard," Sebastian says.

Kurt wants to ask who Sebastian lost, but he's not sure if he can handle any more loss right now. It hurts far too much. It's selfish, but he promises himself that one day he will ask.

(One day, he does.)

~~

It becomes a habit. Kurt and Sebastian will text randomly throughout the day, and then they'll talk at night before they go to bed.

Kurt teases Sebastian about all the potential dates he's letting down by staying home every night.

"It doesn't really feel like the time for it," Sebastian says. "Plus, there's still a killer on the loose."

Kurt sobers up immediately. "I hope they catch the killer soon," he says. They've killed fifteen people in the past two months. He'd like to skin them alive.

"They'll probably catch him soon," Sebastian says.

"Him?" Kurt asks. "That's a big assumption right there."

"Male serial killers are vastly more common than female. Though if it turns out to be a woman, I promise that I'll apologize to her for the misunderstanding," Sebastian says, and Kurt laughs.

"You're ridiculous," Kurt says.

"And yet you're friends with me," Sebastian says.

Oddly, Kurt thinks, that feels true.

~~

Kurt's dream has been NYADA for a while now, but he finds himself applying to other schools. It wasn't his intention, but when he tells Sebastian about NYADA, he's aghast.

"You have to apply to more than one school," Sebastian insists. "I'm only a junior, and I know that. Have you been sleeping through all of high school? God, Kurt, no."

Kurt rolls his eyes, and takes a sip of his coffee. "NYADA is the only school I want to go to."

"It's also extremely selective. If you don't get in, then you won't have other options. You'll regret it."

Kurt is irritated, but he can't help but acknowledge that Sebastian is probably right.

"Fine," Kurt gives in. "You're annoyingly persistent," he says, and Sebastian shrugs.

"I just don't like to see people make horrible decisions, unless they're my idea," Sebastian replies with a twinkle in his eyes.

Again, Kurt rolls his eyes.

~~

Artie dies. Glee Club falls apart again.

A city-wide curfew goes into effect, and it changes everything. People get more and more scared. No one is living the lives they led before.

State officials get called in to try to find the killer, but nothing seems to work.

The media tries to give the killer a moniker, but nothing seems to catch on. The killer doesn't care how they kill someone, which is just weird, if you ask Sebastian, who is apparently the leading expert on serial killers.

All the killer wants to do is kill teenagers--not children, not adults. The youngest was fourteen, and the oldest nineteen.

"It's like 90210, the murder edition," Kurt says, but it's not funny. It's a horrible situation, and the quip isn't all that quippy.

"It's like we've moved to Mystic Falls, the deadliest town in America," Sebastian says back.

"Except we don't even get the hot vampires," Kurt points out.

"To my everlasting disappointment," Sebastian replies.

"Or Murder She Wrote," Kurt says now. "There's only so many murders that can happen in one person's life, before it's just unrealistic."

"Because the vampires were so much more realistic than the small town book author who solves mysteries."

"Absolutely," Kurt says, and Sebastian laughs. If you don't laugh about it, it starts to hurt too much.

His friends keep dying, and no one seems to be able to stop it.

~~

There are days when he can't even get out of bed.

Some days, he just carries on, going throughout his day as if everything is normal.

Some days, he just doesn't have it in him.

His dad'll sit on the side of Kurt's bed, and awkwardly pat his back.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he says every time.

"I miss him," Kurt says, and his dad nods.

"When I lost your mom--" his dad sighs."I didn't think I'd ever be able to get through it. But I did, and you will too. You just have to give it time." The theme is always the same--you never get over it, you just get through it. It takes time.

Kurt knows that intellectually, but the actual process of getting from 'absolutely not okay' to 'finally on the other side' isn't exactly an easy one.

His dad pats his shoulder, and stays with him.

~~

The killer goes on a mass murder spree.

Kurt's at school when it happens.

Jacob, the school's premier journalist, dies with a pen through his throat.

Figgins orders them all to stay safe and secure, but it's too late for that.

Everyone freaks out--some run, and some hide, and that's how Kurt ends up in the Glee Club rehearsal room.

Kurt is hiding with Sam, who is almost trying to shield him with his body, as if he's going to protect him from the killer.

Kurt has no intention of letting Sam die for him.

"We need to get out of here," Kurt whispers softly. Sam nods. They're hidden behind the piano in the Glee Club room, which is definitely not going to keep them safe.

They peek out and don't see anyone, so they inch towards the closest open door. Sam peeks his head out to look into the hallway, and gives Kurt the all-clear sign. "Run," Sam says softly, and they do.

They reach a corner, and move to look from side to side when it happens.

Kurt screams.

The killer has a creepy mask, appropriately. The killer raises a knife, and Kurt and Sam turn to run, but then the killer grunts.

The killer collapses in a pool of their own blood.

And there, standing behind the killer is someone that Kurt never thought he'd see.

"Blaine?" Kurt says tentatively.

[The part of Blaine Anderson will now be played by a young James Franco. No, really.]

"Kurt," Blaine says, rushing forward to hug him.

"But, you were dead," Kurt says numbly. "I don't understand."

"I was just mostly dead," Blaine says, as if that makes a difference.

"Where have you been?" Kurt asks. "For the past three months, you've--" Kurt is shaking so badly that Sam has to put a steadying hand on his arm.

"I had to hide," Blaine says. "The killer was after me, and I was trying to heal from the stab wounds."

"It's good to see you," Sam says, wrapping Blaine up in a hug.

Kurt just stands there.

He's glad that Blaine is alive, but he feels anger building up in his body. Blaine could have called him, he could have--he could have let Kurt know that he was okay.

Instead, Kurt mourned him.

Blaine reaches to hug him now, and he hugs him back. He feels oddly empty.

He then turns back to the body. "Does anyone else want to--" Kurt needs to know who this person is.

Sam steps forward and bends down, and pulls the mask off of the person's face.

Kurt gasps, because the woman on the floor is Brittany, and she's already supposed to be dead. He fleetingly thinks that Sebastian owes her an apology.

It doesn't make sense, but there she is--dead, with a knife in her hand. She killed her friends.

Kurt didn't know she could even possibly be capable of such a thing.

Santana cries and screams when she finds out, and Kurt's not sure how she's going to get over this. She gets sedated by doctors, and Kurt sits numbly with Blaine.

Kurt's not sure how they're all supposed to move on from this.

~~

Later, they find out that Brittany was killed by an evil twin. After killing her sister, Brittany's twin had snapped and couldn't stop killing. They still don't even know her name.

Everyone tries to put things back the way things were, but they can't. Not entirely.

Things are different. There's a separation between Kurt and Blaine now, a distance that they can't seem to bridge.

Kurt calls Sebastian.

"Maybe he's an evil clone," Sebastian teases.

"Well, you'd probably know," Kurt says. "Seeing as you're clearly already an evil clone yourself. What did you do with the original? Put it in a box and ship it to Australia?"

"No, just Montana. Those international shipping fees are killer," Sebastian says.

At least this still feels normal, Kurt thinks.

~~

"I can't do this anymore," Blaine says. "I feel like when you look at me, you can't even see me."

Kurt opens his mouth to disagree, but then deflates. "I'm sorry," Kurt says. "I just need time."

"I don''t think time is the problem," Blaine sits down next to Kurt, taking his left hand and holding it. "I love you, but I don't think I can do this."

Kurt's heart feels like it's breaking, but he nods. "I understand."

He doesn't, not really. But maybe they were careening toward this ending all along. Maybe they weren't supposed to last forever, and they'd never had a chance to do so.

This, at least, is what Kurt tells himself. He needs to believe that this isn't just about what happened to Blaine.

He tells this to Sebastian, who hmms and hahs before passing judgment. "When people go through traumatic experiences, they change. Even if you were meant to be with Blaine before, that doesn't mean you're meant to be with the person he is now."

"I loved him," Kurt says.

"Yeah," Sebastian says gently. "I know."

~~

The end of high school approaches for Kurt, and he starts getting acceptance letters.

He doesn't get into NYADA.

He does, however, get an internship offer in New York for Vogue, which is a huge deal. There's a fashion school there he got into, and it feels right immediately.

This isn't what he'd expected, but maybe it'll be better.

"I'm so proud of you," Blaine says, hugging him tightly.

It's a little weird, just being friends again, but Kurt is coming to terms with it. Kurt wonders, briefly, what would have happened if Blaine and he were still together, because this would be a difficult move. It's probably easier this way, he thinks.

"Thank you," Kurt says, and his heart is ready to burst.

He's going to live with Rachel, who is actually going to NYADA, and they're going to live out their wildest dreams in New York.

"That's amazing," Finn says. "Take care of each other," he says.

"We will," Kurt promises.

~~

Kurt is oddly scared to tell Sebastian, which doesn't make sense in the slightest.

Sebastian is happy for him, and Kurt is disappointed.

This is what tips him off to the truth: he's going to miss Sebastian.

It's been a wild ride, and it shocks the crap out of Kurt, but this is where he's managed to end up. Sebastian is his friend, and underneath the smarmy, douchey exterior is a real, compassionate person.

"I'll see you there next year," Sebastian says now. "I don't have a doubt in my mind that I'm going to get into Columbia. We can--" Sebastian hesitates. "Hang out. Be friends, if you want."

Kurt snorts and rolls his eyes. "We're already friends," he says. "We'll definitely hang out," he continues, reaching out to pat Sebastian's hand gently.

"Good," Sebastian says warmly, and Kurt feels his chest constrict.

He's going to miss his friends and family, but this is what he has to do. He just needs to get through the next few months, and he'll be in New York, and everything will make sense.

He hates this town, and he can't wait to get out of it.

~~

As usual, Glee Club plays romantic musical chairs.

Santana starts dating Quinn, of all people. When Kurt asks why, Santana just shakes her head.

"She makes me happy," she says. "And somehow, I think I make her happy too. Nothing else is a guarantee."

Kurt takes that to heart, and the rest of Glee Club seem to do the same. Sam, Tina, and Mercedes find some way to be together, and Finn and Puck are close in ways they never were before.

Kurt thinks about Sebastian.

~~

Things don't go according to plan.

The day after graduation, Kurt wakes up hungover. He's fully-clothed, but not in his own bed.

He turns to his side and sees a sleeping Sebastian, also fully-clothed, which means there weren't any . . . shenanigans that happened last night.

Kurt feels oddly disappointed. He watches Sebastian just long enough to feel like a creepy Twilight reject, and then it hits him.

He has feelings for Sebastian.

It's a horrible revelation this late in the game, because Kurt is leaving to New York soon. And even if he weren't there's no guarantee that Sebastian would feel the same way.

And so, he resolves to ignore them.

Sebastian stirs then, and Kurt quickly closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

He expects Sebastian to move, or say something, but he doesn't.

Eventually, Kurt concludes that Sebastian is simply still asleep. Kurt opens his eyes, and Sebastian just smiles at him nonchalantly.

Kurt can't help but roll his eyes. It helps to quell the stirring in his heart.

~~

On the day Kurt leaves to New York, Kurt thinks about kissing Sebastian.

There's a ripe, perfect moment when they're saying goodbye, and just standing there, and there's that _desire._

Instead, Sebastian tells him not to get too distracted by the limelight in New York. Kurt tells Sebastian not to get too full of himself without someone to drag him down a peg from time to time.

And then they hug. When they pull away, Sebastian is staring at Kurt's lips, and he knows it. It wouldn't be hard to close the distance, to just let himself have this moment.

It wouldn't be fair to either of them, he tells himself.

Kurt clears his throat, and nods his head. "Well, goodbye," he says, and he turns away from Sebastian to say goodbye to his family now. He'd said goodbye to the rest of his friends the day previously, so there wouldn't be too many tears today. Rachel left the week before, and she's awaiting his arrival.

And then, Kurt walks toward security. It's time to move forward.

Then, he remembers Blaine. He remembers thinking Blaine was dead, and having that fear that nothing was ever going to be okay again.

He's better now, but he doesn't want to live his life with regrets.

He turns around, and Sebastian is still standing there. Kurt wants to dramatically rush over to him, but there are crowds of people around him.

He makes his way through, and Sebastian's staring at him, his head tilted to the side like he's trying to figure Kurt out.

And then, Kurt goes in for the dramatic kiss, his arms flying around Sebastian's neck. Kurt's lips press against Sebastian's like they're coming home.

When Kurt pulls back, he takes a deep breath, and then Sebastian kisses him again.

This is the feeling dreams are made of, Kurt thinks.


End file.
